some dreams live on in time forever
those dreams,you want with all your heart
and i will do whatever it takes
follow through with the promise i made
put it all on the line
what i hoped for at last would be mine
if i could reach,higher
just for one moment touch the sky
from that one moment in my life
i am gonna be stronger
know that i have tried my very best
i would put my spirit to the test
if i could reach
some days are meant to be remembered
those days we rise above the stars
so i will go the distance this time
seeing more the higher i climb
that the more i believe
all the more that this dream would be mine
"reach" by gloria estefan & diane warren
hitting the highnotes
a simple girl in a big big world
Seldom,very seldom does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised,or a little mistaken.
- Jane Austen, Emma
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
sounding the rhythmof life
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Disclaimer: Chunhong, pardon the address in the opening line. This entry of course goes out to one and all, it is not purely a personal reply. What I write here is really just from my perspective, if you can’t stand reading philosophical stuff, kindly close the window at the top right-hand corner now haha.
Dear Chunhong,
You’ve got me thinking a while back with your last comment: “how does one reconcile the resolution of hatred/bitterness with the beginning of fear of getting hurt again?”
I guess I should first state that it appears to be a chicken and egg question to me. I have no idea which comes first. But since you asked me, I hope this helps somehow.
Between getting hurt and standing up again, I believe there is what I call a mourning period. I think this period of time to nurse our wounds and heal them is important. It is the least we deserve after we get hurt. During this time, we come to terms with ourselves, we learn to let go and untie the knots in our hearts. For some,it could take a bit longer. 2 years,5 years,10 years...Take your time but don’t let it drag on indefinitely. We don’t have many 10 years to spare.
I think it is also during this time that fear accumulates within us. It’s natural to fear being hurt again. I mean, heck,do you want to go through the whole healing process again? Of course the answer is no >.<" Then here comes the bad news: there’s no way to get around this fear thing but to face it head-on. We have to tell ourselves that if we must deal with the whole process again, we will do it. Because unfortunately,no one lives in an ivory tower these days anymore. As I often say,it is a big bad world outside,setbacks are as common as the common cold. Before we can recover, it may hit us once again. Sometimes,there is no saying when it starts or ends. But that’s what make life interesting too. If there were no cold winter, how would we know the warmth of spring? If there were no parting, how would we know the sweetness of reunion? If there were no pain, how would we know true happiness? If there were no fear, how would we see the face of courage?
And this courage manifests itself when you battle the ghosts from your past.
Whatever they may be,perhaps you haven’t managed to find a true closure yet. All things will come full circle but it depends if you provide the link to close the circle. Fight hard,you will emerge victorious. And then you will realise fear is not really that fearful after all!
Many of us are weak when we fight our own battles and we give up easily. Maybe you need Vitamin S (support),Vitamin C (confidence),and Vitamin L (love) a little more than some of us. I hope you won’t forget to take these daily supplements. They will help build up your immune system and make you strong to take the plunge again. Some of Bacteria F (fear) may even be good bacteria,to keep you vigilant and alert.
You are a wonderful person. Don’t lose out on what life has to offer because you are afraid to take the first step out after being hurt. You owe it to yourself in this life to make the most out of it. I have faith you can do it :)
Thanks Bern for this sweet entry. I felt really touched.
I know it sounds corny, but I practically saw the light when I read your 'letter' to me. It never occurred to me, at a conscious level,that I must face my fear of getting hurt again. I knew there was something I had to do, but I just didn't know what. Thanks for letting me know that. I have already forgiven a year or two ago. Now it's time for me to face my fear.
Will never forget what you said. It's very precious to me. Thank you so much!
